Keeping Expectations

Many a times we are frustrated because work has not happened as per our expectations. This happens everywhere. At home, in college, at work place. Why do we feel frustrated or angry if things don’t go as per our expectations? The answer lies in the word ‘expectation.’ In certain situations where the ordering authority has powers like in colleges, in defense forces, in police etc; it is possible to demand and get the expectations met. There we have powers to punish and tame the subordinate if they don’t follow the orders. In rest of the situations we don’t have such powers and the ‘expectations’ are then misplaced. So, in short, unless the power to order is not supported by authority to reward or punish, forget about getting your expectations met.
In all such situations, YOU are wrong to keep expectations. It is the root reason to all the problems of our lives. At home, why don’t the mother and the daughter in law get along? Expectations not met. The same is true for all other relations. In offices/colleges, we waste half our time in calling others inefficient and/or ineffective. Most of us don’t know the difference between the two.
One who does things right is efficient.
One who does right things is effective.
Our communication about the job is mostly incomplete. We mention half the things and the rest half is within us. We need to understand the fundamental principle that this world is made of fools, me included, look for one and you will get millions! So, keeping this basic principle of life in mind, communicate 120% rather than 50! Say what you want, how you want, when you want, what if it is not done in time, what if something goes wrong in working of that. If verbal, follow it up in writing. Email is the best medium for this or else just message. Use technology to your advantage. Remember, writing is a serious business and no one can deny those written words! Send it at least through two of your IDs and to all his/hr IDs. Take a written acknowledgement.
After communication, the second keyword is crosschecking. Keep crosschecking politely but firmly if your work is happening much before the deadline! If someone has to come to meet me at 11 AM, I will make a call to him at 8 to remind him of the meeting, then at 10 and 10.30 citing various excuses for calling making sure that he turns up at 11; instead of waiting till 11 and if he doesn’t turn up and then start calling him frantically. All is lost by then. This is crosschecking. If you have delivered any work, crosscheck if that person has received. If your boss calls you for not delivering, though you have, you are at fault because you didn’t crosscheck.
Finally help the person in all possible ways to work for you. Remember the basic principle, he is a fool; it’s your job and duty to help. Unless you do that, he won’t perform and you will feel unhappy and frustrated, what has he got to lose? So, to feel happy and get the work accomplished, help that person to perform. Once you have accomplished these three steps, there is a possibility that your expectations will be met and there is a possibility that you will be happy. If not, still, be happy because the expectation itself was misplaced. You control only your feelings, emotions and actions and not of others, so don’t try that and don’t ever be judgmental about a thing or people. That will be your key to success in all arenas of your life.

Anubhuti Matta