Thursday, October 6, 2011

Perfect you have one?

Does she wake up before everybody at home? Cooks yummy food 24/7? Leaves all her work to take care of you when you are unwell? Is the most enthusiastic when there is any festival in spite the fact that she has to do most of the work? Cries after scolding you? Will buy you clothes even when it’s not needed but keep pending buying a saree for herself?

When you become a mother you are expected to turn into some super woman who can jump off the cliff and still land unscathed on the ground.

Mums definitely are special. But should they be stereotyped the way they are done?

In Revolutionary Road why is Kate Winslet hated when she wants to live a life which is different from their daily routine and go to Paris with her family. Why is it a problem when she doesn’t want a third baby?

The thought of being a mum scares me. Will I have no life of my own? Will it only revolve around what other people expect of me and want me to do and I will be lost in their world. What about my ambitions and dreams, about my life? Will I be tagged an insensitive and inefficient mother if even for a minute I think about myself first and not my kids?

My mum is exactly like one described above. She goes to work with papa but thinks it her duty to do all the work at home. Over time she says she enjoys doing the work. But does she really enjoy it?

We being her children take full advantage of this. We behave in ways convenient for us. Help her when we feel like, but that is only as an obligation. She is still expected to do the work, if we decide to help her- good, if we don’t- too bad. We are so used to seeing her work all the time.

This time when I came home, the first thing mummy told me was “ab 10 days tak no daal roti, I’m sick of eating dal roti.” This was the first time she demanded something. Although I was craving for home food after eating in the hostel for five months but there was no way I would say a no.

It was a very small thing and a lot of us would avoid noticing it, but it made a lot of different to her. If I had said that I really want home food, she would have been happy and would have loved cooking for me. Would she have felt turned down? I really don’t know.

Is she not the perfect mum anymore?

She definitely is.

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